Let’s say your husband tells you about a woman hitting on him. And part of her hitting on him was her whispering in his ear, with her face so close to his ear that her lips actually touched his ear. And then let’s say you are kind of laughing about it, and you ask your husband, “So what did you do when she did that?” And he says, “Nothing.”
SERIOUSLY?!
In H’s defense, he was in a work-type place, and the woman in question is someone who he will have to continue to deal with in a professional manner. But it’s not like I expected H to haul off and slap her. All I’m asking is that he do something like, oh I don’t know, step away so that her mouth can’t touch his face.
So I am like, “What do you mean you did nothing?!” And H is like, “Oh, it’s so cute that you’re getting jealous.” And I say, “I am not jealous! I am pissed that you didn’t do anything!” And then H tries to defend himself by saying that the woman wasn’t actually hitting on him but he has to stop halfway through the sentence because even he knows that strategy is not even remotely going to work.
You guys, this is like a sitcom where the bumbling husband says exactly the opposite of what everyone else in the whole world knows he should say.
So then I say, “How would you like it if I let some guy hit on me, and I didn’t say, ‘Hey, I’m married.’” And then H says, “Who is going to hit on you?” and laughs.
So then I punched him in the stomach and kicked him in the nuts. And now we have a rule that you’re not allowed to let someone else’s mouth touch you because apparently that needs to be written out, OH MY GOD.
Just to be clear, I totally trust H. He is just clueless sometimes. And I am still annoyed that he didn’t do anything, but I’m not angry at him. H actually makes me laugh by saying the totally wrong things. But hello? Don’t let people hit on you!
Umm, yeah, I’d be a little pissed about that too. But not as pissed as I would be at him saying “Who’s going to hit on you?” and laughing!!!! That is totally worthy of a kick to the nads.
I KNOW! What the hell, H?
Heyyyyy baby, you are looking DAMN fine.
[That's me hitting on you. You can now react appropriately.]
See the problem is that H would probably ENJOY me getting hit on by a lady.
But… ummm… thanks? =)
DAMMIT! OPH totally stole my line!
In all seriousness, though, we have the opposite problem. I get hit on my inappropriate people, and I never know how to handle it, so I pretend it isn’t happening. No one has ever made mouth-contact with my ear, though…
wait. That isn’t true. I had a guy kiss me on the cheek four times last year. He was shirtless, wearing a feather boa, and high on something.
I told you. INAPPROPRIATE PEOPLE.
Sorry, but I’m laughing at your pain.
I think H also has the problem of not knowing how to react, so he ignores it. I would mind much less if it had been a shirtless guy in a feather boa!
Seriously, what is wrong with that lady?! Who flirts with mouth to ear contact…who other than those who are 20 and drunk at a college bar?!
I know, right?!
After 20 years of awareness and rules and lawsuits about sexual harassment in the workplace, “I’m really flattered. But also, I’m really married” should suffice.
Married or not, there really is no reason for one professional’s mouth to get that close to another professional’s body, especially in a work-type place, unless that work-type place is a brothel. Or, you know, Sterling Cooper.
I swear he doesn’t work in a brothel.
Whenever I have said the “how would you feel if” thing about work hitting on/crush-ness I get “I wouldn’t care, go for it!” in response.
Also: how does he not understand that mouth to ear contact is the same as flirting? How does SHE (and he I guess) not understand that something like that is weird and inappropriate?
I’m getting all worked up in my indignance for you right now (and also because I’m partly glad there is someone else who goes through something like this).
Also, why is it that when a woman gets annoyed with another woman men always assume it is out of jealousy?
Oh, I hate the “I wouldn’t care” response too! I think that response really means that the person doesn’t think it will ever happen. AARGH.
DH and I are checking out of the supermarket – so I am up with the bagger (because the kid was going super slow) helping him get all of our crap together – and turn around to see the cashier making googly eyes at DH. Awesome. So I clear my throat immaturely and gawk at the sh*t I am witnessing – and DH does not even look over at me…at all. We get done, after hearing the cashier mumble, “We’re having a party later!” I sneer at DH, who looks up – doe eyed – and goes, “Wow, wasn’t she so nice?” Um. So yea, they’re all clueless. And ridiculously annoying.
It’s nice to hear that other men are clueless.
I swear, men are so clueless. One of the women in my office was lamenting her lack of dates one day and another of our married colleagues (who, as far as I know, is completely devoted and faithful to his wife) said, “if I were single, I would ask you out!” It didn’t seem like he was hitting on her; I think he was just trying to commiserate. So far, so good. Then the next day, he told her, “I told my wife that I told you if I were single, I’d ask you out, and now she’s mad at me.” Well. DUH.
Yes, don’t tell your wives things like that, dudes! Why is that not OBVIOUS?!
I would be angry too! I understand that inappropriate things happen but I think you are completelY justified being upset. And having to make a rule about no mouth touching just sucks. We had to make a rule about no friendships with old girlfriends who offer to sleep with my husband and want him to leave his wife. Grr.
You would think these things would be obvious. I don’t get it!
Rob went and got his hair cut last Thursday and he told me what the stylist said to him and then asked me if she was hitting on him.
AH YES!
He laughed.
I didn’t.
Not because I don’t trust him but does she not see his WEDDING BAND?
It’s like, don’t try hitting on my husband while I’m at home washing his shorts, got it?
Sometimes I think women just think flirting will get them a bigger tip. But I agree, why hit on a married man?
I guess it’s been a long time since I was single, but I don’t remember my lips touching a guy’s ear while whispering to him being a part of flirting. Yuck.
I’m glad the two of you now have that rule spelled out. As punishment for not realizing that in the first place, -H- should have to go up to her and say “I recently found out there is a rule in my marriage that no mouth contact is allowed from other people.” This woman sounds like a real class act.
My husband and I had been dating for a couple weeks when I asked him to stop and pick up some snacks on his way over. As he got out of his car, several young drunk chicks came out of the store (odd in a small conservative town in Utah.) One chick said to another, “Hey, how about him?” And she ran up to him and shoved her tongue down his throat!
So he’s telling me and our friends this story, and we’re of course completely shocked, when it occurs to me to ask him, “Did you kiss her back?”
AND HE SAID YES. Because he didn’t know what else to do. Honestly, men are seriously clueless sometimes.
[...] wandering around the internets last week, I stumbled across this post, and then I laughed and laughed. Because if some woman were hitting on Fred, and her lips hit his [...]