I decided very early that I was going to go back to work (outside the home) after I had a baby. In our family, it was actually more of a question whether H would switch to part-time, though he decided for a number of reasons to stay full-time at his job. Before B was born, I was worried about whether going back to work instead of staying at home with B was the right decision, whether choosing a daycare center instead of a nanny or a home daycare was the right decision, and whether the daycare we selected instead of one of the other centers we toured was the right decision. I know that there are lots of pros and cons to daycare. I imagine that a daycare center wouldn’t be the right choice for every kid, but I haven’t second-guessed any of the decisions about daycare I’ve made for a long time now.
I can only think of two people who have said anything negative to me about sending B to daycare. It doesn’t really phase me because I’m so sure about our current choices for B. The one thing I’m sensitive about and defensive of is B’s weight; even though I know he’s healthy, I still worry about how skinny he is. Whether anyone judges any of my other parenting skills or choices doesn’t really bother me.
Right now, I think the pros of sending B to our daycare center definitely outweigh the cons. The one big con I wish I could change, besides the fact that of course I would like to spend more time with B during the day, is the cost. It is crazy. Where we live, in the suburbs of the Twin Cities, the least expensive daycare center we found was $260 a week for infants, and the most expensive was $350 a week for infants. In downtown Minneapolis, there is one center that is almost $500 a week (though I’ve heard it’s not worth that- you’re paying for the brand name of the daycare). H has a friend who lives in a rural area of Minnesota, and he pays $140 a week total for one kid in daycare full-time and two who attend the daycare only after school. Costs get less expensive as your kid gets older. We now save almost $50 a week since B moved up to the toddler room. Yay! Plus he gets to do all kinds of messy art projects and have daily dance parties.
We were spoiled in rural NC, paying $100 a week for Jack to go to full time in-home daycare – this wonderful woman washed his cloth diapers for me, fed him her own food, and gave him baths before he came home! Oh, it was excellent. Now, in the city where we live, we pay $150 a week for just 15 hours of daycare – 3 hours each morning. It’s killer on a family in which both parents are grad students, let me tell you!
And talking about daycare judgment – my lovely mother, who I do love dearly, told me our son was speech delayed (which he may be, not really talking at 23 months) because I’m not a stay at home mom. I was like – mom, I go to about 10 hours of class a week. Seriously? She said – well you’re GOING to be a lawyer. So I guess he has prospective daycare-induced speech delay . . . ?? I just laughed at her.
Ha! I guess your son can sense that he will start spending more time in daycare and is developing his delay accordingly.
That’s about what it costs here in Dallas, too (for a center). I know my sister (rural-ish MN) paid much less, but also the smaller towns typically have only in-home daycare, or center-type daycare that’s a lot different from Ava’s daycare.
So yeah, it sucks. But, I guess it must feel like a huge raise when they go to kindergarten? Or, you can consider private school without much additional (financial) pain. That’s how I try to look at it.
That’s true – hundreds of dollars extra a week will be like a windfall in a few years!
I hear you. I don’t understand how anyone can afford to have a child with the cost of daycare. And then what if you want to have a second one?? I lucked out because my aunt stays at home, so I asked her if she would do daycare for us. We still pay her, but very little compared to what we would have been doing. I want to move her to a daycare when she’s old enough for the toddler room, but it will be a definite increase in cost. My brother has three kids in daycare, one who goes to school during the day, and they pay $600 a week! And that’s down in Rochester where you would think it might be cheaper.
I know! I really don’t know how we would afford more than one kid. Can you imagine paying for twins?!
Daycare has been a fantastic choice for us and surprisingly we haven’t had any negative comments in regards to that decision. (The most frequent ‘judgement’ we get is that we don’t make Lukas wear shoes at home. In the house. Where B and I don’t wear shoes. It’s always something.) We toured a few daycare centers and interviewed another handful of in-home providers and ultimately decided that the in-home daycare in the small town where I work was our best option.
I can’t tell you what a godsend it has been to have Lukas’ daycare mom in our lives. She has four girls of her own with another on the way and has been an invaluable resource for me whenever I have questions. I know he is loved and well-cared for there. My sister nannied for us for the first six months after I went back to work and while it was convenient I’m glad it ended when it did and that L moved into a daycare setting. He’s learned to share and how to play with other kids. He even has a little girlfriend!
Due to a recent change in my work hours Lukas is one of the first kids dropped off and usually the second to last picked up. I had an argument with daycare mom when I wanted to pay her MORE for the extra time that Lou would be there beyond our original hours. I felt it was the right thing to do so I just started writing the checks for the amount I felt was right. But again, we started at a much lower rate due to the location.
It sounds like you guys found a really great place.
I don’t know why some people make it their business to judge other parents for sending their kids to day care. That’s totally a decision for each individual family, and everyone else needs to mind their own business.
Agreed.
Daycare is wildly expensive, for sure, but I do also think it’s worth the money. I mean, you’re paying someone to take care of your child. That’s worth top dollar, right? I just feel like our whole pricing structure for everything is skewed.
Of course I would be willing to (and do) pay a lot of money for daycare. I think they daycare owner and the staff deserve to be paid well for taking good care of children. But it still feels crazy to more than $1000 a month for anything!
I don’t get the judgey parents, but I know they are out there. I have plenty of friends and families with kids and there are some of them who are just better parents if they work outside the home, and some that are better if they stay at home. And in this economy, how can anyone judge? It IS expensive!
We’re going to pay even more money for daycare when I give birth soon, but I’m so glad we found the home daycare we did. My toddler comes home with all these skills that I don’t think he would have learned from me even if I did stay at home. Plus, today his best friend (another boy) came up to him while we were picking him up and said, “Kiss me!”
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