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I’ve got a secret. There’s another man in my life, besides my husband. Actually, two.
But it’s not what you think.
Starting back in grad school, when I began dating the guy who would become my husband, there was a male classmate that I really got along well with. We had a shared love of music, tv shows and movies. He was always listening to music I’d never heard of, but always really ended up liking (O.A.R., Modest Mouse). I didn’t work very much during that time, so he and I would go to the movies during the middle of the day, or we’d go shopping together to make use of a GAP coupon one of us had. We had a great time. And the boyfriend was totally cool with it. (Even though in the early stages of the relationship, he didn’t know what our status was, because one of our dates to see a movie was with grad school guy and another guy in our program.) Ultimately, the two of them even joked about the situation. Grad school guy was my daytime boyfriend, and he was glad because that meant he didn’t have to take me out to dinner and buy me stuff. Boyfriend was happy I had someone to hang out with during the day.
Now, there are two men at work who are like my new daytime boyfriends. We talk on the phone or visit each other’s office several times a week. We talk about the frustrations of work and share work related gossip. And we share funny videos, movies and music with each other. On occasion we talk about stuff going on at home (one guy is married, and I know his wife, and the other guy is single). And, now that I’m married, it’s nice to let off some of the steam and irritations of my day before I get home with hubby. It makes life at home so much better because he is happy he doesn’t have to hear my rants over and over. It works well for all parties involved.
Do you have or have you had a “daytime boyfriend” and what did your significant other think?
I definitely have male friends at work, but I wouldn’t call them my work boyfriends. I know that H has had women in the past who he has referred to as his work wives. I think you’re normal.
I had a guy at my last job that I called my work husband. Since he was flamingly gay my real husband had no worries. He and I went to lunch, blew off steam, both hated the place, and both got canned this year from our jobs. Maybe it was a coincidence?
I don’t really have anyone like that at my work, but I do remember on King of Queens years ago, when Carrie had a work husband, then Doug got a work husband as well. Ha!
I think that’s totally normal, even healthy. It’s good to have friends at work you can talk to about stuff, because people you don’t work with just won’t get it. And if they happen to be male, eh.
I find I am envious of your daytime boyfriend. I work from home full-time, and find I’m sometimes more isolated than I’d like.
Yay Work Boyfriends! My neighbor and i work in similar fields, and love that fact that we can have work boyfriends that in no way interfere with our husband/Squeeze.
Best o’ both worlds, I say!
None of the male co-workers i have are of any interest to me…though i dont really wish i had someone to stare at all day. Too many distractions.
It’s called a “Work Husband”. I had one at my last job. We were/are both married and never was there a line crossed. We were just really good friends that worked together and got each other.
just found your blog! (from gorillabuns)…me? i fall in love with the men at work, so i’m no help
…..its a secret ‘crush’ thing i have…they have no idea, except i have a terrible blushing issue which may give them a hint….